NOOOOOO.

You're cursed with your teeth being of any color, except white and any of its shades.

Lil' Gucci.
---
Bad luck always hits you.

damn i guess i can't do anything surrounding luck

---

your phone's battery drain always accelerates until the phone dies, then it restarts

Time to use portable charger.
---
You don't have fingers.

you know, screw it.

You're cursed with your screens turning green.

terminal interface time

---

all your chargeable devices can explode if they hit 100% charge

I don't charge 100%-
*explodes*

---

Your least favourite weather hits at your area everytime.

Well, might as well stay inside
--------
Every single Topic you create will die within 10 minutes

I'm... sort of used to it... ;w;

The game you've spent most money at turns out to be ftp by next week permanently.

geometry dash is sometimes referred to as '4$ square game' so idc
---
you must fight both a horse-sized duck and 100 duck-sized horses at the same time

So just an easy one-time curse huh?

You will be cancelled everytime you gain mainstream attention.

i curse the guy under me to never have a cute furry bf

I'm not a furry tho...
------
You can't say "gg"

That kinda sucks
-----
I curse with fire spreading around you every 15 minutes

not a problem if there's no fire to spread
---

you wake up on a/the ceiling everyday somehow

Not a problem for me

==========

I curse you lose you're sense of taste.

That's me about 25% of the time

-----------------

I curse you to have every packet of chips you buy to be so crushed you will have to suck them up with a straw.

I curse you with random items disappearing and reappearing at random times

oh boy can’t wait to lose my skill in osu mania and get it back randomly

I curse you so that it always feels like you need to sneeze but can’t

Jokes on you! I don't have a nose!

I curse you with never being able to hold anything

i have no grip and i must hold

>>

i curse you with terrifying visions of alternate worlds... but it's only terrifying by their standards (which may or may not align with your own)

that is strikingly intuitive... maybe i will appreciate the informative extra life experience and a hint of inspiration, maybe i will be wracked with the horrors in paranoid paralyzed silence, i will sit and watch either way

...

i curse you with the deprivation of one form of conventional sensation (except for the sense of touch) which alternates once per day in an inconsistent order and persists through the entirety of that given day

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

I curse you to only be able to speak the 1k most common words in all your languages.

I curse you to not being able to shit

I don't give a shit. Quite literally.

I curse you with all your keyboards becoming dollar bin equivalents.

Can type (if speed is not a concern)? Yeah. Can play games? Hell nah.

I curse you with always having that feeling that there's a bug crawling up your legs, but there won't be anything there; just your hair tickling you.

You're cruel.

I curse you with both sides of your pillow being warm.

You only perform well only if you are angry or going insane

So essentially become Max Verstappen? Hell yeah!

I curse you with being unable to go within 1km of a blahaj anymore.

like... effective immediately? because if that's so-

[gets launched 1km to the left straight through at least two buildings and dies instantly]

>>

i curse you with being possessed (while retaining partial control/awareness) by a random ghost every day

Lord have mercy, those ghosts would make me do crazy things!

I curse you with the inability to hide your true feelings from others, so that you'll literally always speak your mind out loud whenever you have a thought about someone, even if you don't want to.

i kinda do have that..?

i curse you with turrete syndrome but instead of ticks you shout a random science term that you don't understead

Depending on how often that happens, it can either be not that bad or a pain in the butt.

I curse you with your computer always performing like a windows 7 era netbook, no matter what specs it has.

tbh my laptop is like 7 years old

i curse you with often stumbilg on flat surfaces

good thing my living environment is small and easy enough to navigate safely... additionally, i'm fortunate to not need to spend much time walking at all

i curse you with being imperceptible during every time you have anything of significance to say

Does that include cringe things?

I curse you with a random stat of yours plummetting to lowest. Said stat changes everyday

my interfacing stat plummets to zero one day and while i regain my sense of humanity i can't use a mouse with any precision

>>

i curse you with having a perpetual twitch chat inside your head. they don't exist in any physical manner, but you can see their messages and sometimes get donation alerts with tts. those donations *do* give you money and you can get more by appeasing your chat

People around me would think i am crazy but could be worse.

I curse you with becoming the biggest fan of Lewis Hamilton of all time.

You may think it's chill, but it really isn't because your entire life revolves around him.

money in what form and received in what sense? depending on the form and sense, a number of extra assumptions may have to be made for that accusation to be a plausible interpretation (but that may be my ignorance of how money is tracked) unless that accusation comes from the chat, in which case, nevermind

i already have enough of a chat to deal with on this channel, so i'm probably going to actually be at -4 at that rate even if i would enjoy sating my human-perspective curiosity on of having extra opinions on every moment i witness or act upon

at least there is money to survive on

oh

that would be awfully limiting... i adore the thought of it (especially if i could watch someone invest themself in that interest) but i would genuinely hate that in practice, well done

∷ ☆ ∷

i curse you with a sensitive medically-idiopathic rash creeping across most of any body you could possibly occupy

Achromalia wrote: 6z4f3o

that would be awfully limiting... i adore the thought of it (especially if i could watch someone invest themself in that interest) but i would genuinely hate that in practice, well done

Would also probably lead to death eventually through some "sacrifice" for hamilton, or due to not having money for basic necessities as you got some expensive LH/Ferrari merch instead of them.

OT: Wow, that... that would suck.

I curse you with always having a 15 minute delay.

a delay to what...? what's being delayed? i suppose i can at least do something else in the meantime

except that browser page won't be loading for fifteen more minutes, so i suppose i could try to make music/art... oh the electricity is out for fifteen minutes, so i suppose i could go to bed and daydream... i can't think of anything for fifteen minutes, so i just try to feel comfortable and burrow into the sheets... a bug, i spray it, i can't use the bed comfortably until the poisonous fumes mostly evaporate after fifteen more minutes, so i just...

∷ ☆ ∷

i curse you with a complete erasure of all the hdd/sdd data you've stored in all your personal electronic devices and all your flashdrives/thumbdrives, all your computers/laptops/tablets/phones have been reformatted to factory settings, all applications are uninstalled, there exists no data beyond the original clean-slate status of the product at the time of its release

this will happen every week, but of course all data that you've willingly stored online will be perfectly safe <3

that's not cool, I don't want to install Genshin or any 50GB+ games every week

I curse you with all your secrets you told to your close one will all be exposed to all people around you

Definitely not cool! Most people have things they don't want to tell literally everyone.

I curse you with always having a strain every time you tell a lie. Yes, that 7 seconds of torture in your leg that feels a whole lot longer than 7 seconds. This includes white lies and retrospective lies, like cancelling appointments with friends. Think very carefully before committing to anything!

depending on how far the definition of lie goes, i may be experiencing a lot of pain...

i wonder what happens when i say a paradox...

>>

i curse you with things always being about 1inch to the left every time you go to grab them the first time. which is to say you'll never grab anything as you intended the first time, not because you're misjudging anything but because the thing actually moves to the left

to my left, respective to my line of sight? the location of my head/body? the orientation of a hand? an arbitrarily-decided "left"? what happens if i look at it through a mirror or camera instead of looking at it directly? is it possible to gently push something where i need it to be in this way by hovering toward it at a precise angle? interesting and immensely inconvenient

is the criterion found in the attempt/intent to grab something? what actions with which parts of the body would be defined as a reach or grab? what if i trace a finger toward it specifically with the intent to gently poke it, then do the same from an opposite direction, then encase the item in my hands? does it teleport instead of making a classically-physical movement as a solid object?

does "grabbing air" or "grabbing water" or "grabbing dust" qualify? will this displace atoms that already existed in the positions being teleported to/from? can i destroy and compromise the integrity of structures and buildings by reaching for mundane objects in a particular arrangement?

...

i curse you with perpetual deregulation of body temperature, and all fans and heaters and air conditioners cease to function within a spherically-uniform volume with a diameter of 20 metres which is centered at the location of your heart in each moment of your life

for your entertainment, this includes computer/laptop fans

Achromalia wrote: 6z4f3o

to my left, respective to my line of sight? the location of my head/body? the orientation of a hand? an arbitrarily-decided "left"? what happens if i look at it through a mirror or camera instead of looking at it directly? is it possible to gently push something where i need it to be in this way by hovering toward it at a precise angle? interesting and immensely inconvenient

is the criterion found in the attempt/intent to grab something? what actions with which parts of the body would be defined as a reach or grab? what if i trace a finger toward it specifically with the intent to gently poke it, then do the same from an opposite direction, then encase the item in my hands? does it teleport instead of making a classically-physical movement as a solid object?

does "grabbing air" or "grabbing water" or "grabbing dust" qualify? will this displace atoms that already existed in the positions being teleported to/from? can i destroy and compromise the integrity of structures and buildings by reaching for mundane objects in a particular arrangement?

any object you can actually, phsyically grab and hold, with the intention of grabbing it. you can't really hold air or water or corners of buildings, and if something is inside something else, it'll move with it (so if you were to somehow gain the ability to hold a building, the entire building would move, but otherwise nothing will happen)

also, let's say if an object will get stuck inside something, it'll phase through it to the other side instead

attempting to encase an object will also cause it to move. the first poke wouldn't do anything since you aren't technically holding it, but the other poke to hold it would still classify as intention to hold at that point (subconscious intention to hold also counts, no matter how hard you pretend it isn't, though let's say realising you're holding something won't cause it to move, so if you somehow did it on "accident" you'd be fine, but the knowledge that caused it may lead to it no longer working as you now expect it)

but yes, you could push things around as normal, without any issue

and it's left relative to your line-of-sight, the direction you're looking in, even when you're looking in a mirror. it only happens the first time you attempt to hold it anyways. it's moreso "make a mindless action as mundanely frustrating as possible" rather than downright debilitating

unless you work in a glassware store

>>>

note... to... self... move to antarctica...

>>

i curse you with gemstones now absorbing whatever properties they're associated with from you. you still have these qualities, but being around the respective gemstone will cause them to temporarily be dulled/vanish

e.g. if you were near a rose quartz, you may experience diminished/a lack of love. whether or not it's egodystonic/syntonic is up to whichever you think is more interesting

this interests me, i might enjoy testing how my characteristics are affected... i would assume that could help me learn a lot about myself, provided that eligible gemstones are the conventional raw and/or commercial kind and not the component processed/polished/cut materials of other products (except jewelry, i imagine)

i dont know yet how i would come to regret that eager curiosity

maybe it could be weaponized against me by people if someone wanted to? but i imagine i would have likely been vulnerable by any other means anyway

...

re: "to the left"

that was left drafted after the reply but i dont what i couldve had in mind, so the following is only being written now

interesting and effective, but it might grow more mundane and dryly inconvenient later... i dont act a lot so i may have some opportunity to gather the patience and foresight needed to be intentional about my actions and gradually adjust, still would quietly dislike it

...

i curse you with a moderate allergic reaction to all liquids in with your body that are not originally being generated by that body

i'd rather die of dehydration than have to shower with my own filtered piss

i curse u to fight a fully prepared and bloodlusted team comprised of batman, goku, full power atem, wordgirl and toodles from mickey mouse clubhouse while unprepared on a random day of the week

there exists no fight, i either die immediately or am perpetually hospitalized while helpless at the mercy of their willingness to not kill me. either that, or you must necessarily make me unlike myself in a manner that betrays my general sentiments and deliberate behaviors, and i will still die

a curse of death phrased in a vaguely "new" way, which, i mean i can't do anything about it so yeah i suppose i'll just live as normal and wait for them to break in while listening to music i love and daydreaming my life away. i'm a malnourished stickbug skeletal corpse, i couldn't possibly do anything, so i wouldn't possibly try anything at all

there is no distress when facing the absolute, thus says the freeze instinct

...

Achromalia wrote: 6z4f3o

i curse you with the lifetime roulette for the deprivation of two of four forms of conventional sensation (sight, hearing, smell, taste-- the sense of touch is protected/excluded) which will alternate once per day in an inconsistent order and will persist through the entirety of that given day

that sounds like hell

>>

i curse you with recieving a box of random items every week on two random days from a totally random source, varying in size and amount of items. most things in the boxes are entirely worthless, such as unsalvagable parts of other things. however, there is that slim chance something in one of those boxes will prove very useful/meaningful to you. maybe a fully-functional video game console or a tool you were going to get anyways. so do you let yourself be complacent and risk throwing something useful out or check every single box you recieve?

ooo sounds like a pawn shop or a framed murder in the making o.o

I curse you with having anime flashbacks whenever you hear a certain trigger word. Multiple words will be tied to different flashbacks, and all of them are common words. You'll never know what the words are though, and everyone around you will just see that you're staring out into space during the flashback. Oh, and they're always embarrassing memories that will be narrated by an emo teen version of yourself.

i'd rather die

I curse you with having a 15 second ads whenever you're doing something and you have to pay $10 per-weeks if you want no ads

I hate this why hwy hwy hwy

I curse you with all of the above but with very light downsides

companies will one day seek to create this torment nexus

>>

i curse you to have an irresistable urge to scream "MR BEAST" while doing the funny mr beast pose every 30 minutes

I hope Mr. Beast will notice and recognize my love to him someday

I curse you with a vine boom sound effect come after every sentence you speak

I curse you with the inability to use your hands.

SON OF A B-

I curse you with the inability to speak in long sentences and complex words.

in a weird way, i think i feel a little better :) i wanna ask how long the sentence can be, but im hopeful i could learn to fit that ^^

i curse you with!!! dust inconveniently flying and slipping into your eyes and nose at all times unless covered by masks and goggles

i am now... a superhero by force...

I like the vine boom curse, so I'm giving it to you BUT it's the bruh sound effect instead

i will never be taken seriously again. thousands found dead

>>

i curse you with always having an itch in your ear you can never get rid of

I curse you with being unable to find pictures.

hell nah.

I curse you with being in the second Red Bull seat. It may sound good but trust me, it isn't.

You lose your blahaj

Singular or plural? My reaction will vary.

I make you a diehard Verstappen for the rest of your life, to the point where you'd sacrifice your life if it helped him get just a few more points.

BluePyTheDeer_ wrote: 1s5t41

You lose your blahaj

Plural, ALL of them.


Anyways, you have no more cable or streaming services, so you can't watch F1

You will never be able to leave offtopic and will post every day.

THAT'S BADDDD, I DON'T OPEN OT MUCH, ONLY FG NOOOOO


I curse you to always study your least favorite subject non-stop

Finally I can learn ptoper English or improve at what i suck at,

Whenever you fo laundry the socks never match

Nooooo I already struggle finding socks in the morning TT^TT

I curse you with having the ad of whatever product you're holding play non-stop whenever you hold it. So like if you pick up a can of Coke, you'll just hear Coke ads the entire time.

i get ads all the time anyways, now i just get ads for whatever new product apple puts out next

curse u with having to live in girls next tour

I curse you with always receiving 5 second time penalties every time someone gives one to Esteban Ocon.

I hope he retires soon,

Every time u try to use the letter n you say the letter m

hope it does work vice versa and my brain can adapt to it

I curse you will hear, read and see every human name is as long as Ossas's

I curse you with not being able to make or mod maps in all osu modes.

Your curse worked - I have paws. >^.^<


I curse the below so that he can't sneeze.

YIPEEE FINALLY I DON'T HAVE TO BLOW MY NOSE EVERY SECOND



I curse the below so they teleport every hour randomly

no.

I curse the below with always having a shit PC. Even if they get a NASA supercomputer, it will be shit if it's used by them.

I curse the above me to remove the curse from me

I curse the below me that he will love everyone and wish everyone well.

so does the curse completely rewire my brain or...?

sorry, i mean, yaaaaaay

>>

i curse you to (mentally) become a cat for an hour whenever you see a bird or a bird-shaped thing (or anything you percieve in that moment to be a bird

you still retain your current body

i live in a village and see cluck and gueese all the time. no
I curse you with any money that you will hold being turned into it's equivalent in pennies.

L curse.

I curse the below me to become an obsessive Lewis Hamilton fan/stan. You will want to watch F1 and buy his merch/F1 GP tickets just to get closer to him. You will follow him everywhere he goes. You'd sacrifice everything you own (even your life) to help Lewis Hamilton in any way if given the chance.

I don't understand


I curse the below me to become a duck for 10 months straight

i'm gonna become a duck youtuber

>>

i curse you to turn all liquids you touch (that isn't directly sourced from your body) into honey

this includes drinking/otherwise putting it inside your body

ima die

Farfocele wrote: 2y4v31

I curse the below me to become an obsessive Lewis Hamilton fan/stan. You will want to watch F1 and buy his merch/F1 GP tickets just to get closer to him. You will follow him everywhere he goes. You'd sacrifice everything you own (even your life) to help Lewis Hamilton in any way if given the chance.

TL;DR you become the biggest stan of Lewis Hamilton (F1 Driver) there is.

it seems "i" would enjoy myself against my will... fair enough, i didnt really deserve to have a self anyway (/joking)

i curse you to legally purchase every item that catches your interest in chronological order, and if you cannot afford it without a loan, you will comfortably hallucinate it being in your posession until it's really there

Kinda D: as someone who grew up starving due to poverty :/ but is ok!!! can afford it now probably

I curse you with the feeling of a strand of hair inside your mouth forever
It's not there, you just feel it

im sorry to hear that :< i think i could empathize

i would probably acclimate to the phantom hair, maybe even play with it sleepily to fight total boredom and despair

...

i curse you with an inescapable looming sense of bread

Could be worse.

I curse you with always having a good keyboard and bad mouse/tablet/aiming device

I could just play 7k lmao

I curse you with going through adolescence again in your 30s. Yes, you will grow bigger still. Yes, you will get a hormonal boom again and have cringe character.

i'll take anything for extra height (please i have to hold onto rails for dear life because my brain's mental map of my body is convinced i should be several feet taller)

>>

i curse you with hair made out of goop. like if you've ever seen those drawings of slime people, like that

it doesn't need to be taken care of, but it's bright neon goop nobody knows how to style

At least I won't be bald.

---

I curse you to watch the saddest movie you know once a day.