lostsilver wrote: 2h4ne
Achromalia wrote: 6z4f3o
Achromalia wrote: 6z4f3o
sickly sweet artistry! plastic bread, alienatingly normal... socially secure? kind.
+ ROLEPLAY MARATHONER O.O;;
+ brainfreeze
+ unsubtle characterization
+ ironically, maybe mildly inconsiderate...?
if it ever seems like im being inconsiderate, just know im not tying to be and im sorry if it seems that way ;-;
ot: amazingly mysterious, sweetly talkative! thread necromancer at their best <3
i wonder if its just, we mustve grown up with really different ideas of how to communicate/negotiate our interests and needs, we meet at different points in conversations and in roleplay (the rp is so great!! i actually do enjoy it other than me being super fatigued lol)
i think what makes this particularly hard is how unceasingly... idk, like if anything is serious then it seems like it would make you sad or exhausted, but if anything is super sugary-exciting non-stop for me then i seem to be exhausted or feel overwhelmed/drowned in it, and i think for you it just is that you always grew up this way that you dont seem to know of another way to communicate-- at the same time, anytime i try to understand my own impressions of you, it seems so... difficult to really believe i understand anything at all
like i just have never grown to be that carefree, ive generally become the opposite, usually quite brooding and numb and tired... i can be excitable about certain things but it is hard for me to maintain because its not really my default, but at the same time i sincerely love being expressive, or at least emulating that expressiveness. it makes me feel kind of human??
idk. this is sort of tangential, it didnt actually explain what i meant by that comment lol ;o;
what i mean by "ironically", is that the way you speak feels so... almost eerily structured Around an attempt at politness, but somehow it misses the substance of reading through what people mean or want or like, which has me wonder if its just... not knowing how to negotiate with people. it might be kind of similar to the expression of "running people over", like a hit-and-run where you try to fumble onwards and keep the mood light while a pedestrian lays off to the side
...and yet at the Same Time, i fear somehow that in experiencing this possible disconnect, you may grow to have insecurities in the future about how socially aware you could be, or how much you could do for people, when... you Don't have to do all that much for anyone, at least not internet strangers. but through this sort of obliviousness, it may make communication with anyone that isnt just "a silly goober" much more difficult, and i fear this would cause you to be considered shallow, or what ive heard from somewhere else, "basic"... and like... nobody really should have to prove anything about "basic" or "unique" qualities/characteristics, its more like... that its important to be a well-rounded person where possible, at least so you can adapt to people in the future
...its just, you dont seem to
explore anything, there isnt really that much visible introspection, as though anything and everything must only ever be "silly" and nothing else is possible or safe to express in a sober or serious way;; idk if this is insulting or disappointing or kind of unsettling to hear (specifically because of this being a stranger-turned-acquaintance trying to psychoanalyze you when youre just trying to do your thing and live your life), i may try to apologize more meaningfully if so and clarify some things
in all fairness, a lot of this could be projection on my part!! and lots and lots of speculation. im not sure i will ever be able to accurately represent you with how our neutral/default personalities seem to conflict, and i mostly tend to theorize a lot about things that nobody asked for or mentioned. additionally i think im realizing that some of my worries/disappointments are kind of just unfairly expecting you to be a mirror of myself?? which is probably weird as heck, depending on the person judging
idk. over the time ive learned about you, ive grown more and more conflicted, although at the same time ive been happy to actually have fun here with you. also people are just kind of complicated sometimes so this is quite a normal experience, but i suppose it was kind of significant to me for me to comment on it
...
ot:
+ calm
+ nami & shark enjoyer :>
+ proper punctuation!